Minutes from the Regional meeting

North Babylon High School

North Babylon, New York

October 16, 2003

The meeting was opened with prayer.

In his remarks, Dan Bartley announces that this is our official annual meeting. The membership has grown from 35 at the first meeting to 1600. There have been many accomplishments and milestones.

LIVOTF has tried to foster a relationship with Bishop Murphy in this year. The many attempts to meet and work with Bishop Murphy are cited. But we cannot be silent and dishonest; we must be open and honest. We must speak the truth even when it hurts and that resulted in the call for Bishop William Murphy's resignation in July.

We need to continue to trust the Spirit, we are called to peace. We will continue to pray for Bishop William Murphy. We will pray for a healthy and collaborative relationship.

And we look forward to a fantastic second year.

The announcement of the establishment of a newsletter is made. Volunteers are invited to come forward for this project.

John Ryan, speaking as Co-Chair of Victim/Survivor Support, remarked that we must keep abuse victims in our minds. WE must learn from the past. Victim/Survivors will be speaking at the meetings. The following article was read.

NEW JERSEY NEWS Abuse victim suffered to the end

Thursday, October 16, 2003

By MIKE KELLY
RECORD COLUMNIST

They seemed like wounded soldiers, these young men who stood in silent clumps on the steps of a Mendham church Thursday as the October sun washed over them and the coffin of one of their own passed.

He was James Thomas Kelly. He was 37, and when he took his own life early Sunday by stepping in front of a train, a call went out to others who shared his torment of being abused by Catholic priests.

Almost 40 other victims sat amid more than 200 friends and relatives at Kelly's noontime funeral at St. Joseph's Catholic Church.

Mark Serrano came. So did Bill Crane. Like Kelly, both were abused by the Rev. James T. Hanley, a former St. Joseph's pastor.

"We wanted to be here, together, to say goodbye," said Crane, 37, now a horticulturist in Portland, Ore.

But as goodbyes go, Kelly's funeral also became a search for meaning on this terrible day.

"I felt he was growing and healing," said Serrano, a consultant in northern Virginia. "But even those of us who knew him could never know the depths of his struggle."

Kelly (no relation to this columnist) never got the chance to see his priest-abuser taken to court. Nor did any of the dozen or so boys abused by Father Hanley. As they fought off their youthful shame and spilled their secrets, the statute of limitations expired.

Yes, Hanley was dismissed from the priesthood. He now lives in nearby Lincoln Park, but he has never spoken about what he did. It's almost as if Hanley left one life and slipped into another, leaving behind the emotional rubble.

Was Kelly tormented by that rubble? Surely he was. But how much? We'll never know.

He had five brothers, two sisters, a loving mother and father. Friends spoke of his toothy grin, his dimpled cheeks, his green eyes. He sold phone equipment for Nextel, lived in Morristown, sometimes rode a motorcycle. "Jimmy was a people person," cousin Margaret Darian said. "He made great first impressions."

Such were the good memories. The darker memories were harder to define.

Yes, many in Mendham knew Kelly had been abused. He spoke publicly about his trauma. He also attended monthly therapy sessions at St. Joseph's with other victims.

But friends said he kept a piece of his soul far from view. "No one knows what the trigger was," Monsignor Kenneth Lasch said of Kelly's suicide.

Flanked by four other priests, Lasch waited as Kelly's coffin was rolled to the front of St. Joseph's sanctuary. Then Lasch motioned to Kelly's father.

Paul Kelly slowly rose, stood by the coffin, and faced the congregation.

"Jim was a troubled man," Paul began. "His mind was warped. He had demons that he couldn't get free of."

The father took a breath. He spoke next of his son being in heaven. But his words kept coming back to earth.

"We all tried to reach him and hold him," Paul said. "But Jim was a runner that eluded our grasp. He ran and ran until that last hurdle came up and tripped him, and he fell into God's arms."

The father paused and gazed again at his son's coffin and the remains of the wounded soul inside.

"God, please take care of my boy," Paul Kelly said.

And with that, he evoked the words of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

"Free at last," the father said. "Oh, thank God, he's free at last."

E-mail: kellym@northjersey.com

John Ryan announced that he is interested in compiling a list of speakers, for Regional Meetings or Parish Voice meetings, who may be Survivors of Clergy abuse or their family members. Anyone interested in speaking should contact John Ryan.

The Finance Committee announced a new program. Our Dollars Make a Difference was presented by Joan Psotto, Jim Godfrey and Kevin Connors.

Joan Psotto

"Good evening church! I am Joan Psotto. I'm from St Brigid's parish in Westbury. I'm also a member of the Long Island Voice of the Faithful Finance Committee . . . and I'm really excited about this program we're introducing here tonight. I think it has the potential to really help us make our VOICE heard.

Up until a little over a year ago, I was the parish outreach director at St. Brigid's. It's one of the larger Outreach ministries in the diocese — three different sites, four paid staff, one of the largest food pantries on LI over a thousand client households in our data base . . . many of whom are undocumented and so have nowhere else to turn for assistance. They, and many others, depend on our parish ministries for help with so many of life's problems . . . financial support, emotional support, help navigating the complexities of life on Long Island. And isn't it wonderful that they come. Isn't it wonderful that they see the ministries of the Catholic Church as a place where they can seek comfort and help without losing their dignity, without fearing unfair immigration laws, without being suspect simply because they are poor or in need. And don't we want to continue supporting such wonderful works of the Gospel.

It is not only our obligation to continue supporting our parishes . . . as faithful lay Catholics it is our privilege and our joy to both roll up our sleeves and get personally involved and to support those works of our parish communities with our monetary donations. But after learning that the Diocese taxes our weekly contributions at a rate of 7 to 9%, who can blame those of us who hesitate to give as generously as before.

Voice of the Faithful has been persistent and vocal in requesting financial transparency from our diocese and our Bishop. We all know that the response has been very much less than we would like. And we all know that every time the subject comes up, the hierarchy likes to issue statements about how any decrease in church donations hurts the poor. What do you think? Do we have evidence the 7to 9% of our parish contributions go to ministries that serve the poor? Or expenses — very questionable expenses — that we'd rather not support with our hard-earned and generously given dollars.

I'm now a professional grants writer and fundraiser. Every contact I make with a prospective donor and every contribution elicited for my clients is subject to the principles stated in the Donor Bill of Rights. It's on the inside panel of the "Our Dollars Make a Difference" brochure. We think it is an important document for Catholics to become mindful of. You'll note that it's supported by a number of organizations, including the National Catholic Development Conference. Read it over. Does the Diocese respect your rights as a donor? Would you give to any other charitable organization without the reasonable respect and scrutiny that is outlined here?

We're asking two things of you tonight: consider the Our Dollars Make a Difference Program carefully and see if you can take it to your parishes and begin a movement to encourage fellow Catholics to claim their rights and responsibilities and donors to this Church that we love so much. We need to be responsible stewards both of the money that is ours to donate and of the ministries and parishes that are our spiritual homes.

This is a program of true Catholic Stewardship!

Jim Godfrey made the following presentation.

Background / Taking Responsibility

A year ago we began this undertaking, the LI Voice of the Faithful, out of worry, concern, some fear, and most decidedly resolve, that what we were witnessing, . . . the attitude and approach that our Church was taking to a crisis . . . was wrong. We were unclear at that time about just how culpable our leaders might be, about how deep the culture of concealment might run and about how many of those who worshipped in the pews alongside us might be injured.

We were however clear about two things. First, we loved our church, and second, we were not prepared to stand idly by and hope that things would just . . . get better. Whether most or some or even only a handful of you believe this . . . I believe we were called by the Holy Spirit to support our Church.

So here we are. It's a year later, and we have some uncomfortable answers. Our leaders were and in some cases may still be involved. The culture of concealment spanned at least 20 years, as we were told by one local District Attorney's report. In this very chamber we have listened to our neighbors, . . . kids, . . . people we probably knew from little league baseball. . . describe horrific treatment at the hands of those we were brought up to trust, . . . to revere.

In the face of this, . . . this year we have persevered. We have sought dialogue with our Diocese. We have met several times with our Bishop. We have sent him correspondence. (And even received some) . . . We have spoken to our priests. We have explained the concerns of our organization and the goals that we seek to achieve, support of the victims, . . . support of priests of integrity, and the affectation of structural change in the Church, . . . so that this will never happen again. We have also asked them to intercede on our behalf with the Bishop.

We have asked for a greater role in the Diocese. We have asked that an independent Diocesan Financial Oversight committee be formed. We have asked that our Bishop adhere to the proscriptions of the Dallas Conference. And we have even asked to be allowed to meet in the Churches built by our grandparents.

We have talked and cajoled and requested and asked . . . and in some cases crept ever so close to the line of begging. But we have not achieved what we truly need.

We need a place at the Table.

We need a Church we can trust.

We need to be able to go confidently to our neighbors and invite them back into the pews with us.

We need, as a group, to be considered a positive development, . . . perhaps the lone positive development to have occurred as a result of the terrible scandal that has shaken our church.

We need to succeed, . . . so that our children will have someplace to go for solace, for comfort, for prayer, for hope, . . . when we are no longer there to offer our support.

This is what we need. Now, this is what we must do.

We recognize now that the Diocese has in the past and continues to tax every dollar that you place in the collection plate. This tax is 7 to 9%, depending upon which parish you speak to. We also know that like it or not . . . the greatest concern of our leaders seems to be the adverse financial effect that the sex scandal has had on the Diocese.

In the past we have asked that you form groups and develop Parish Voices. We have asked this large group to write letters to the Bishop asking for a way to meet in our Churches. We have asked you to meet as a group and attend masses said in support of our efforts. We have also asked you to come as a group and attend a Faith Festival.

Now, I ask you to take personal responsibility for the crisis in our church. I ask that you individually support the idea that the Diocese needs no more of our money until we see a significant change in the way business is done. I ask that you individually be prepared to meet with your Pastor and advise him that you wish to restrict your donations to your Parish Only. You do not want your Pastor to transfer any of your donated monies to the Diocese. You prefer to keep all your donated dollars and cents at home, in your Parish, to support your local needs.

I would certainly encourage you to meet with others in your parish and develop this individual act into a group therapy session. The therapy we would recommend you endorse is that of restricting your monies to your own Parish, thereby getting your Parish financially well.

The program name for this individual act, for this taking of Responsibility is: . . . Our Dollars ($$) Make a Difference.

Kevin Connors made the following presentation.

OUR $$ MAKE A DIFFERENCE

My friends, I want to tell you:

1. How to Make Your Voice Heard!
2. How to Take Responsibility for the Financial Well-being of Your Parish!
3. How to Let Your Dollars Strengthen Parish Ministries!
4. How to Keep Your Contributions in Your Own Parish Community!
5. How to Redirect the Diocesan Tax until Our Call for Accountability and Financial Openness is Honored . . . 

My friends, I want to tell you How to Exercise Your Rights as a Financial Supporter of our beloved Church!

And what I have to say applies to members of Voice of the Faithful, and to all other Catholics on Long Island who wish to establish Accountability and Openness on the part of our spiritual leaders.

THE FIRST STEP IS TO ORGANIZE YOUR PARISH!

If you are a member of a Parish Voice, the foundation on which to build your program already exists. If your parish does not have a PV yet, here is a cause around which you can build one. In any event, More Parish Families and More Dollars will make a stronger voice and a greater difference.

1. Discuss the program with fellow parishioners — and as a group — band together to initiate the program.
2. Encourage all Catholics, not just VOTF members to join.
3. Spread the word . . . "Our Dollars Do Make a Difference."
4. Have a representative of your group meet with your pastor to inform him of your decision.
5. Get your Pastor's Commitment to honor the program.
6. Ask for a separate line item on your parish financial statements to report "Funds Donated for Parish Use Only."

AND HERE IS WHAT WE ASK YOU DO!

1. Insist that your parish contribution BE USED "for parish use only."
2. Make your contribution checks payable to the parish with a notation in the memo section: "FOR (NAME OF PARISH) USE ONLY."
3. Place your check in a plain white envelope and write the same notation on the outside of the envelope.
4. Keep careful records of your contributions.

Take a supply of Tri-folds with you tonight. If you need help, we will be organizing a group of Regional people to visit with PVs. We encourage non PV members and non parishioners to attend these meetings.

SO JOIN US NOW: TOGETHER WE CAN KEEP THE FAITH AND CHANGE THE CHURCH!

The presentation was followed by questions from the membership. The Q & A follows.

Q. How can we be sure that our pastors will honor our request to keep our donation in our parish?

A. Ask for a separate line item on the financial statements that account for tax to diocese.

Q. Is this on the web and emailed to all members?

A. This is posted on the web and will be sent to all members by email and snail mail.

Q. What evidence is used to arrive at the $300,000,000 number?

A. It is based on the financials of the Diocese.

Q. If Bishop William Murphy gets frustrated, what is to stop him from doubling the tax on the remainder of the donations?

A. There is nothing to stop him. We designed this program in response to requests that we do something regarding the finances.

Phil Megna remarked that on September 27, LIVOTF membership filled the Huntington Hilton Ballroom to capacity and "you all fed each other with the Spirit of the Gospel." He thanked all involved for the hard work and dedication that resulted in a very successful conference. Regarding the survey, over 850 responses have been received to date, with 60% from non-members. The results of the survey are on the web site. The number one issue There will be copies of the talks given by Fr. McBrien and Sr. Duffy available for loan to the Parish Voices.

Pat Paone and Denis McKeown gave information on the upcoming Tri-State Conference at Fordham. Buses are available for transportation to Fordham. Denis McKeown can be contacted for information on transportation from Nassau County and Sue Baer can be contacted for information on transportation from Suffolk County.

John Robinson gave a report on the Synod procedure underway at parishes throughout the Diocese. He advised the membership to be prepared. There will be limited time to write your comments and concerns at the meetings and so all are advised to prepare their remarks ahead of time. Do not boycott the process. This is the opportunity to voice your concerns and have them recorded by the Diocese. There will be a Diocesan Facilitator. You are given cards and ten minutes to record your thoughts on 24 topics with the 25th topic being open for your own concerns. If you want to remark on more than one topic it must be recorded on separate cards.

Then there is a breakout session, after which, you may read your card aloud. It is up to the individual if they identify themselves as a VOTF member. The facilitator, in the form they must fill out at the end of each session, is asked to identify any organizations that were present.

Cards are returned to the Synod Office and each card is typed and posted on the web.

Dan Bartley announced that voting for the members of the Board of Directors will take place tonight. If you have not mailed in your ballot, please vote here this evening. Your name must appear somewhere on the ballot for comparison to the membership database.

Pat Paone introduced the key speaker, Svea Fraser.

Speaking truth with compassion — breaking down barriers.

Ms. Fraser was part of the original 28 VOTF members out of Boston. She quoted St. Francis that first you do what is necessary, then what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

In discussing the second goal of VOTF, she stressed that many good faithful and holy men are priests. We need to not separate ourselves from that. Always invite them to the table with the laity. Remember that this is about the structure not about a person.

A problem with the structure is that the Bishops are accountable only to Rome and not tot those they are meant to serve.

Ms. Fraser recounted the story of a many she knew who became a Bishop. While listening to him speak before an audience he made several statements that she knew were contrary to his beliefs. When questioned about this afterward, the Bishop answered that as a Bishop, you must compromise.

She assured that many priests are grateful for the interest and concern and so encouraged all to approach your pastor or parish priest.

We are grown up and educated and we are blessed by the Holy Spirit. Vatican II describes the church as the people of God.

We don't need Vatican III, we just need Vatican II to happen.

When the institution becomes more important than the people it is meant to serve, it becomes idolatry.

Cling to the truth.

Continue to pray

Don't give up.

Refuse to leave the Church, Employ stubborn fidelity.

Share awareness that submission to God and submission to Church authority is not the same.

We are in good company when we walk with dissenters, St Francis, St Catherine Generate light, not heat.

The talk was met with a standing ovation.