Long Island Voice of the Faithful
Regional Meeting
November 10, 2004
Grace Episcopal Church
Massapequa Park, NY

The meeting was opened with a prayer.

Mother Sara Krantz, the pastor of the Grace Episcopal church welcomed all present. She offered that we had found “safe haven” at Grace Episcopal and that she hoped that we would look back at our time in Grace as a time of grace.

She was thanked by Pat Zirkel and assured that we did indeed feel welcomed.

Joan Psotto led the opening prayer.

Pat Zirkel made some announcements.
She remarked that new board members would be installed in a brief ceremony.
The staggering of elections is explained. In the election this year 437 ballots received. 8 persons ran for 5 seats. Those who ran included:
Joanne DiGiovanni
Tom Dowling
Penny Duggan
Joe Kern
Sr. Regina McAuley
John McGovern
Tom Myles
Joan Psotto

All were thanked for taking the time and effort to run.

Those elected were:
Tom Dowling
Joe Kern
Regina McAuley
Tom Myles
Joan Psotto

All will serve for three years.
We have heard from priests that Bishop Murphy has remarked that he wished reconciliation with LIVOTF. His representatives have contacted our liaison team and dates are being discussed.
Kevin Connors stood and explained that donations are still needed to keep LIVOTF going.
The hiring of a consultant is explained.

Pat shared that she has felt the presence of the Holy Spirit while grappling with many issues. We have had difficult but fruitful discussions on many subjects and have felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. We are branches of the same vine. The disciples of Jesus were one in mind and heart. God is with us in our struggles today.

Gene Zirkel led the membership in a blessing for the board members. The Hon. Henry O’Brien read statements asking if all newly elected Board Members would support the goals of LIVOTF. Upon a “yes” response, all were installed.

Pat Zirkel introduced the principal speaker, Sr. Sally Butler.

Her topic is conversation with survivors

Sr Sally Butler:

Good evening.
I am here tonight because I need a boost. You give me hope and there is a sign of joy. Remember that your goal is to support survivors of abuse.
The others are important but this is the most important. Without the survivors there would be no change. We have a great deal to thank them for. I have spoken with survivors and they have wondered why they are not asked to speak more often. Some, we hear, are getting tired of hearing the survivors. This reminded me of another passion which is racism in the church and religious orders. Survivors are expected to forgive and heal right away. But no one has said I am sorry. They will heal when they heal, forgive when they are able. God loves them anyway. I have invited two survivors to join me in speaking with me tonight. Ave Clark is a survivor of a train wreck and a survivor of abuse. Also Bob Hoatson is here with me.

They are going to answer some questions.

Sally Butler (SB): When you first stepped forward to reveal abuse, how were you treated by the hierarchy?

Bob Hoatson (BH): I was not treated well. Last April I approached Irish Christian Brothers to reveal I had been abused by two of their members and after they expressed sorrow I was sent to the attorney. I have yet to hear any response. I went to the archdiocese of NY because one of my abusers is now a RC Priest in that diocese. When I finally received a response, I was dismissed because the accused claimed it was consensual.

SB: Several survivors had hope when they first reported. They were given the impression something would be done. Then they would find out that the priest had been simply moved.

Ave Clark (AC): Before I can tell you who I told about my abuse, I need to tell you my story.
My abuse started when I was three years old. I was taken to rectories. I didn’t understand what was happening, but after I was abused I would like a polite child say thank you and they would give me pennies.
I didn’t tell anyone. I was afraid. That little girl had become very anxious on the inside and very calm on the outside. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I keep busy and smile and make others happy. When I was abused again at 15 I told no one. I became a sister and watched over the children.
As a sister during the month of November I was attacked by some priests. That was a Friday. Monday I was back in the classroom smiling and working. I was always afraid. When I told people I heard silence. Survivors call me now because they hear silence. Why wouldn’t someone want to hear about how someone was abused? There is fear and denial and fear in the silence. To understand you need to get close to their heart. They have a tremendous loneliness inside them and because I never told I carry it still. Now I go to some of the same parishes in Brooklyn and Queens where I was abused and turn it around so I have a ministry.
When I told the hierarchy, I got silence. They were afraid. All repressed memories started to come out. I found out while in treatment that 92 nuns had been abused. They had all heard the silence. The words of pain and suffering need to be heard. I have written a book called Light in the Darkness. I heard silence, fear and denial, but also received support from sisters in my community. One sister said “I am starting to feel the pain but I also see the courage.”

SB: Some survivors were told they were liars. For everyone that comes forward there are many who do not have the courage to come forward. When we found out what had happened in our parish our foster son came forward – there were 15 others that we knew of that were abused. The empty seat up here is for them; the voice for those children who have no voice.

How did the attitude of people affect you?

It reaffirmed what I had heard from others. I thought that the fact that I had been a brother for so many years that I would be given the benefit of the doubt. But that was not the case. How it affected me ultimately was that it energized me. If they would treat a brother that way, how would a lay person be treated?

SB: It strikes a stubborn cord.
AC: When you go through therapy people think that it should end at some point. I am still in therapy. I do not feel strong but I do feel valiant. I always look neat, act nice so you may think I am fine, but I am not. When you are not understood it is painful.

SB: I am reminded of a person who came forward and accused a priest who many sisters knew to be an abuser. He (the accuser) ended up in Rikers Island for 12 days.

What is the message you want to send to survivors?

BH: Important research came out today – poll about how Catholics feel today about the church. Most important issue is the clergy sexual abuse and the cover-up. I urge you to spend your money, energy and your time to help those abused. PTSD is the most vile thing that can be given to a person and clergy sexual abuse survivors have it.

SB: There are four agencies devoted to the care of the pedophiles. Catholics pay for that, but there is nothing for their victims.

AC: The PTSD bracelet I wore was seen by the ambulance people who helped me after I was hit by the train they. They had help waiting for me.
Thank you for having these meetings. Survivors call me from all over, who will hold our brokenness with us? Will you?

SB: I have a foster son back from the sixties, I put him in the rectory thinking that would be the safest place, but he was abused. When I asked him if he wanted to speak, all he wanted to say was unprintable. He has tried to take his life but he is still with us
Georgiana and several of us have been working with the Rockaway VOTF and their friends to do something positive.

Georgiana: IN NYS our law says children have three years from recovered memory or the age of 21. The church hides behind statute of limitations. VOTF in Rockaway is working to have the statute removed. It would allow for many of these abusers to be put away where they belong.
You can help overcome the obstacles. I have form letter you can send to state legislators. It states that it is time to remove statute of limitations for child abusers.

SB: Johnny Cochran said “I am here to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” We have a big job ahead of us.

Thank you. Please take letters from the back and copy and send.

John Ryan – Victim/Survivor Support –Thanked everyone who bears witness to what this abuse does. He reiterated that the study that Bob Hoatson mentioned confirmed that what disturbed Catholics most was how the hierarchy responded

Joan Bedosky introduced the new Province Coordinators.
They are:
Western province: Judy Grillo from Our lady of Victory
Penny Duggan, St. William the Abbot

Eastern Province: Terry Connell Member of St Patrick in Southold.
John Robinson from Immaculate Conception

Central Province: Mary Steele, St Joseph, Kings Park
George Sheppard, St. Hugh of Lincoln, Huntington Station

Joan Bedosky – introduced Tom Lloyd –

• Do something positive. Sr. said that when children came into her care she became vigilant.
• Started tracking membership numbers in October 2003. At that point we had 1065 members. By May it was up to 1954 members. Challenged to reach 2,000 and it was accomplished. Membership now stands at 2,200.
• To ensure that our children are protected PVs are needed in all parishes Therefore growing our membership is not an option, it is imperative.
• WE must empower the laity to protect our children. Let us not be fooled into thinking that all the abusers have been removed.
• Let’s double our membership in 2005.

Tom Myles

• The Diocese has started a program aimed at teens. This program offers go betweens if there is abuse. If that is not an option they can call the hotline, but no call to police.
• The Diocese has opened satellite office of protection of children in Southampton.
• The Diocese has announced a pastoral care team. Training people to treat victims.
• Updated diocesan review board was announced in October. They list nine people on the board. Of the original ten three are gone

Lisa Braglia
• The Lost Sheep program explained. LIVOTF and SNAP leaders of these organization have come together to visit parishes where there were known abusers. Not a protest or demonstration but simply to distribute literature about abusers and to offer support to victims and survivors.
• Bishop Murphy is being asked to make announcements asking anyone who has witnessed
• The Lost Sheep Program will be in St Killian’s in Farmingdale.

• People are needed to help us leaflet. If you can give us a half hour or all day Sunday. There will be a group of us in the back of the church. Read the leaflet and if you are comfortable with it please join us.

• The abuser in St. Killian’s was a youth minister. He abused his victim in 2001 and he was sentenced in 2004.
This is not history.

Announcements:

The play, Sin, A Cardinal Deposed, was seen by Pat and Gene Zirkel and they recommend it for anyone interested. The play is only running until December 4. When you order the tickets, use the code SNSNAP2 and you get discount.

A member of St Killian’s parish stood and shared that she is nervous because it is my own parish. She asked that members please come and “help me not to be nervous.”

LIVOTF is invited to a mass on December 12 mass 5pm at St Anne’s Brentwood.

The meeting was closed with prayer.